INT. MALL OF AMERICA ARENA AREA - DAY

 

A small fireworks display goes off as Soundgarden "Come Together" plays over the loudspeakers. The crowd cheers as Bianca Diaz and Colin McRae sit behind their desks.

 

 

Bianca: WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME TO DAY 8 of the W2! I am Bianca Diaz.

 

Colin: And I am Colin McRae. It's so great to have you all here, as we are about to hit the 2/3 mark of this event and for some of these fighters, a point of no return. As a reminder the top 4 men and top 4 women of their respective divisions are going into the tournament on Day 12, now only 4 days away. Which means that our competitors only have 4 chances to break the ranks. 

 

Bianca: For example, it seems a given that Rade will be in the tournament. Boasting a 7 and 0, the only perfect score to this point, Rade would have to lose all four of his next matches to possibly not make it in. Craig Convery and Schmetterling look like they're in pretty good position to get in too, but almost anything can happen.

 

Colin: Over on the women's side of this, it's murkier. No one has more than 5 wins, which means that there's no safe ground as we round the bend. 

 

Bianca: Talking about both Rade and the women's division, President Leila Blake had to lay down the law yesterday. You can see the stress lines forming as she nears having to enter the ring herself which was not on her bingo card for this event I'm sure. And she put together this upcoming match, which threatens some pink slips if anyone gets involved. The cell has been set to lower on the ring so let's bring it down to Ash Greaves. Ash?

 

PRE-SHOW

FATAL FOUR WAY HELL IN THE CELL

"DELAWARE DAREDEVIL" DARIA DONNER VS KALPANA VS TRAGEDEIGH VS MORGAN MAVERICK

 

Ash Greaves and Andra Martin stand in the ring. 

 

 

Ash: The following contest is a Hell in the Cell Match and is scheduled for one fall!

 

GoGoGadjet "No One Likes Us/Fly Eagles Fly Remix" plays. The crowd boos Morgan Maverick, who flicks her hair onstage and struts out, occasionally simultaneously blowing kisses and flipping off the audience.

 

 

Ash: First, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the Philly Phirebrand, MORGAN MAVERICK!

 

Bianca: It almost feels weird to see her without the Nor'Easter. But they were banned from ringside at risk of being fired. 

 

The Lights Go completely Out, then a Single Spotlight hits the Stage. Nightwish "Phantom of the Opera" cues up and Tragedeigh sweeps her arms up as if conducting the crescendo. The fans sing along. The spotlight follows her down the ramp as she keeps her arms open. She enters the ring and bows sweeping. The lights come on at this time.

 

 

Ash: From Edina, Minnesota, the Gen-Z Dramaturge, TRAGEDEIGH!

 

Colin: The hometown hero is in the ring, and Morgan you can tell is itching to beat the hell out of her now, but holding herself back.

 

Bianca: The match doesn't start until the bell rings.

 

The keyboard opening for "Song for the Dead" by Queens of the Stone Age blares as the lights go red and the titantron shows a shocked turn to camera meme, that turns into an explosion. The guitar kicks in, with the lights flashing between red and white and small fireworks going off in time with the drums. Once the drum riff leads into the frenetic guitar/drum interplay Daria charges down the ring like a madwoman. The fireworks continue to go off in time with the drums and Daria charges right through the ring sliding through the ropes, into a front flip and an Ultimate Warrior style rope shaking after which she lets out a scream.

 

 

Ash: From Rehoboth, Delaware, the Delaware Daredevil, Daria Donner!

 

The lights get dark for a moment, before becoming a cyan shade. A familiar voice comes over the PA, commanding, "Clear the way 5s, the 10 has landed."  Jamiroquai "Cosmic Girl" plays, and in gold and red rays, Kalpana struts out, hitting a model pose that highlights her in silhouette. She treats the ramp like her catwalk, before straddling the rope a second and entering the ring. In the center she hits a full Flashdance pose and is bathed in cyan strobe light.

 

 

Ash: And finally, from the Nepali Space Station, Deep Space 10, KALPANA!

 

The cell lowers and the bell rings.

 

Colin: Tragedeigh with a series of chops to Donner. And Kalpana reaches in her poof and pulls out knucks! Cell match, anything goes, straight to the face of Morgan Maverick! Release body slam outside the ring to Maverick! Donner sends Kalpana out after her and Alabama Slam into the cell wall! Tragedeigh Tope Con Hilo to Maverick! Everyone on the outside now, Maverick throws a few punches to Donner and Kalpana hits a hair pull mat slam to Tragedeigh. 

 

Bianca: Kalpana with a spike piledriver to Donner on the staircase. Maverick with a spear to Tragedeigh into the door of the cell! Maverick and Tragedeigh taking the climb, Daria lands a spinebuster on Kalpana. Kalpana with a pop-up headscissors and throwing hands. Tragedeigh with a spinning suplex on the cell ceiling! Kalpana with a snap suplex to Daria on the side of the ring, Maverick bounces up and short-arm lariat. 

 

Colin: They're not going to win the match up there, but someone is going to get very hurt pretty badly. Donner throws Kalpana in the ring, springboard elbow drop! Tragedeigh with a moonsault spinebuster! Starting to see the top of the cell bend a bit. Kalpana hears the crunch and looks up, Daria takes the opportunity to hit her with a one-armed bulldog. Kalpana rakes Donner's eyes and hits her with a boot. Maverick with a series of knee shots to the midsection of Tragedeigh. 

 

Bianca: Morgan Maverick hits a spike piledriver and they come crashing through the top! Donner drives the brass knuckles into Kalpana and dominator! Kalpana back up and throwing Donner into the corner! Foot choke and really holding it in there! Maverick hits Tragedeigh with a polish hammer. Daria Donner jumps past Maverick and frog splash into Tragedeigh. Kalpana with a slap to Maverick, Maverick responds with a low blow and fireman's carry slam! PHIRE IN THE HOLE!  Tragedeigh pushes Donner off.

 

Colin: Donner holding Tragedeigh up, going for a stalling suplex, Maverick off the ropes and turns that into a facebreaker! A brief moment of support but dashed with Maverick kicking Daria down low and Phire in the Hole! Maverick taking the time of everyone being down to get the pin on Tragedeigh!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Morgan Maverick wins by Pinfall with the Phire in the Hole!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner, The Philly Phirebrand, Morgan Maverick!

 

GoGoGadjet "No One Likes Us/Fly Eagles Fly Remix" plays. The crowd boos Morgan Maverick, who flicks her hair and sticks out her tongue, then struts out of the cell and up the ramp.

 

Bianca: And a decisive win for Morgan Maverick. She's showing that the Nor'Easter are an add-on, not a necessity, as she was able to handle the action in the ring just fine. 

 

Colin: And with that madness out of the way, we move to the main portion of the night.

 

W2 2025 DAY 8

 

Ash Greaves stands in the middle of the ring.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and will count towards points in the Round Robin!

 

The word "DANGER" flashes on the screen. "D is for Dangerous" by Arctic Monkeys plays. Red sirens reflect throughout the room and Dangerous Johnny Dagger stands on the apron, looking down. He stomps and pyro in the shape of a triangle forms around him. He looks up and the triangle pyro explodes outward. He runs at a full sprint towards the ring then without breaking stride slides in. He hits the mat with his fists and lets out a scream, at which time the fans cheer.

 

 

Ash: And his opponent, from Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, weighing in at 202 pounds, Dangerous Johnny Dagger!

 

Colin: And DJD, the man who first exposed Rade's weaknesses, is out here to a crowd who has really warmed to him. And he's warmed to them too. 

 

Bianca: Well I hate to say he's going to have an easy go but his opponent has one win so far and that's due to the help of someone who has since turned her back on him. 

 

Colin: It could make him depressed or dangerous. Time will tell.

 

Dandy Warhols "Scientist" plays and Taylor Tekk walks out, waving to the audience and taking off his lab-coat to reveal a "Science is Magic" singlet.

 

 

Ash: And his opponent. From San Diego, California, weighing in at 195 pounds, the Modern Magician, Taylor Tekk!

 

The bell rings.

 

Bianca: And Dagger throws Tekk off the ropes and hits him with a spinning heel kick. Tekk not bothering to get up and motioning Dagger to pin him. Dagger looks concerned, but does so.

 

1.

2.

3.

 

Dangerous Johnny Dagger wins by Pinfall with a Spinning Heel Kick. 

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner and awarded three points, Dangerous Johnny Dagger.

 

Arctic Monkeys "D is for Dangerous" starts to play but Dagger signals to cut the music.

 

DJD: Yo, what the hell was that man?

 

Taylor: Look. I can't win this thing anyway, the only reason I even came to do this was because Cindy was so excited about it. I don't really want to be here anymore but I know I'm contracted for the next 4 days. After the W2, I'm hanging up my boots.

 

DJD: Hey. Hey! When you first came in you were a passionate dude. You were excited about teaching all these people about science and action. And now because your boo got bitten by the bad girl bug, you wanna walk? You're gonna walk away from all these people?

 

Taylor: These people know the same thing Cindy knows. I'm a loser. 

 

DJD: Cut the sad shit, dude. What you need is a good ol' fashioned revenge-a-roony. Here's what we're gonna do. Tomorrow, we're gonna square up against those half-baked candyasses, you, me, and we'll find a third, and we're gonna win, and you are gonna come in here with more passion than you've felt all week. You in?

 

Taylor: I don't think you heard me.

 

DJD: Nah I heard you bro, but I know the same thing these people know. There's a tumultuous tiger in there. And he's hungry.

 

The crowd chants "Taylor Tiger" with claps. Taylor smiles a little.

 

DJD: So I'll find us a third, and we're gonna do some damage tomorrow. You owe me that for this weak-ass match, and I hate to see a good dude down. Minnesota are you with us?

 

The crowd roars approval. Taylor nods and they do the Predator handshake before leaving the ring.

 

Colin: Well, I hope we can see a revitalization of Taylor. Maybe a reinvention. Something to get him going. He's not wrong that it's too late for him in the Round Robin, but he could still build momentum going into the new season and someone like Dagger by his side could be a boon. Should he decide to stay after all.

 

Bianca: And on we go to the next match! And Rade is moments away from claiming his next victim. Ash?

 

Ash Greaves enters the ring.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and will count towards points in the Round Robin!

 

The lights are black. Like black black. "Mitternacht" by e nomine plays and all that can be seen is the smiley faces which also glow on the poles facing into the ring. Rade lifts Ann up and Ann extends her arms and lifts her head in a Messiah pose as Rade steps over the ring. Once they get into the ring he closes his hands around his face to cover the mask then spits the blood mist into the air, which Ann showers in using the same Messiah pose. The lights go on. Ash realizes their mic has been turned off.

 

 

Ann: From deep in the Black Forest and haunting the deepest caverns of your mind, weighing 355 pounds of crushed hopes and dreams, the reason you can't sleep at night, Der Blutsammler, RADE!!!

 

Ann cackles maniacally as Rade spits up blood again. Ash realizes their mic is working in time for the next intro. The lights give a stained-glass like feeling as the colors rotate. The instrumental of "CASTLE OF GLASS" by Linkin Park plays and as the drums hit, Gil and Perry stand on the center of the stage and pound fists which causes two thin pillars of sparks to arise. They strut down the ramp, giving pump up shouts to the fans who cheer them back. Occasionally they pound a fist each of a fan. When they enter the ring, they both do the square hand smash in synchronicity, then scream and pillars of sparks go off in the ring.

 

 

Ash: And his opponent! Accompanied by Unrelenting Perry Payne, from Neenah, Wisconsin, weighing in at 291 pounds, "Unbreakable" Gilbert Glass!

 

The bell rings.

 

Colin: And we're off! No offense to Gilbert Glass but I'm not expecting this to last terribly long. And Rade sending Gil off the ropes, but Gil hooks his arms! He doesn't come running back! 

 

Bianca: I'm sure the other wrestlers in the back watching now are like "Wait, you can do that?" 

 

Colin: Rade responds with a boot and sends Gil over the ropes, Gil lands himself on the apron. WHOA! GIL SUICIDE DIVE INTO THE RING FROM THE MIDDLE ROPES, Just under Rade's strike zone and he's actually startled the big man! Rade taken off his feet!

 

Bianca: And Payne outside running interference with Ann Lee, who's surely getting herself wound up at this point. 

 

Colin: Glass going for an elbow drop and Rade catches him! Benchpressing him and launches him back. That's a far way to go, even from the ground. The sheer propulsion of this man. 

 

Bianca: Rade up and Glass is scrambling to his feet. Making the calculations, surely anything is a risk, Glass not usually partial to top rope moves but climbing the turnbuckle and lariat from the top! He's causing Rade to stumble again! Sees the opening to load up the Glass Cannon and RADE GRABS HIS FIST! ARM WHIP LIKE IT'S NOTHING! Glass's unbreakable name being tested here as he recovers outside. Gets himself back into the ring, runs and goes for a slide kick! Successfully getting Rade to stumble a bit more, continues the momentum and back around for a Polish Hammer to the Back! I think Glass just took the record for most hits landed on Rade!

 

Colin: It'll be a pyrrhic victory when Rade ends this but Glass definitely impressing with his in-ring intelligence. Stiff punch by Glass to the midsection of Rade. Rade drops the double axe handle on Glass, and Glass goes down. Picking Glass up by the throat, here it is folks, been a good run. Glass gets tossed up and WHOA GLASS GETS HIS BIONIC ELBOWS DOWN ON RADE'S CRANIUM! RADE HAS ENTERED THE HARD HAT ZONE! GLASS TAKES THE OPENING AND NAILS THE GLASS CANNON! HOLY HELL! THE CROWD IS ON THEIR FEET! HE'S ACTUALLY GOING FOR THE PIN! 

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Gilbert Glass wins by Pinfall with the Glass Cannon!!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner and awarded three points, UNBREAKABLE GILBERT GLASS!!

 

Bianca: THIS IS TRULY INCREDIBLE, COLIN! The crowd can't believe it. Ann Lee can't believe it. I'm not even sure Gilbert can believe it.

 

Colin: To put this in context, this is only the second time that Rade has lost in a W2. The man who didn't expect to be in this tournament, the man who is best known as one of two, the man with a 3-3-1 record, breaks down the giant for only the second time. The first as we've made mention before is Steve Thunder, in the final of last year's Men's W2. 

 

Bianca: Which makes this the first person to beat Rade during the Round Robin part, Colin! 

 

Colin: You're absolutely right. Rade was undefeated in the Round Robin in his debut last year, and all the way until the final. Truly phenomenal what Glass accomplished today.

 

Bianca: Well, this is certainly a high bar for the rest of the night, and an early contender for match of the year. 

 

Colin: Let's continue on with the night. Ash?

 

Ash enters the ring.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and will count towards points in the Round Robin! 

 

The keyboard opening for "Song for the Dead" by Queens of the Stone Age blares as the lights go red and the titantron shows a shocked turn to camera meme, that turns into an explosion. The guitar kicks in, with the lights flashing between red and white and small fireworks going off in time with the drums. Once the drum riff leads into the frenetic guitar/drum interplay Daria charges down the ring like a madwoman. The fireworks continue to go off in time with the drums and Daria charges right through the ring sliding through the ropes, into a front flip and an Ultimate Warrior style rope shaking after which she lets out a scream.

 

 

Ash: First! From Rehoboth, Delaware, the Delaware Daredevil, DARIA DONNER!

 

The drum riff hits to the instrumental version of Nothing But Thieves "Trip Switch" hits as three lightning bolts shoot from an image of the Manx three-leg symbol done as gears. The lights give a flickering feeling, as if power surging. Tamara punches the ground then raises her arm slowly. Tamara walks down the ring, cracking her fists, all business. The crowd cheers, but she pays them no mind. She's all business. She enters the ring and punches the ground again, then slowly raises her shades off and gives the smallest of smiles.

 

 

Ash: And her opponent, from Onchan, Isle of Man, the Circuitbreaker TAMARA RIVERS!

 

The bell rings.

 

Colin: Tamara and Daria tangle up, Tamara grabs Daria and holds her up in a stalling suplex and down they go! Tamara picks Daria up and Electric Chair Suplex! Daria wraps her legs around Tamara's head and headlock. Daria wrenching and twisting, Tamara with a bit of struggle but realizing she has her whole body to try to fight back, planting her arms on the ground and she's up! Daria not wanting to let go of the hold, trying to bring Tamara back down and you can see the struggle but she is able to get enough of a runway and charge back into the turnbuckle! Sandwiching Daria Donner in the corner! 

 

Bianca: Tamara knows better than to try a running attack here, boards the turnbuckles and going for the 10-punch! 

 

1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 

 

Bianca: Daria blocks the 10th! And a modified snake eyes, knocking Rivers's head into the turnbuckle. Daria now throwing some kidney punches and sitting Tamara up on the top of the turnbuckle, Daria climbs to the middle and SPIDER SUPLEX! And she launches out to a corkscrew splash! Going for the cover!

 

1!

 

Colin: Tamara gets the shoulder up, Daria gets up off her and grabs her arm, ripcord knee strike to the midsection! Throwing Tamara off the ropes and duck evasion of Tamara on the way back and Tamara comes around again to a Canadian Destroyer! Tamara throws Daria off the ropes and catches her with a spinning powerslam. Tamara going to the legs and Donner is goin for a ride! Big swing!

 

Bianca: Donner takes a hard landing and Rivers runs, jumping over Donner and coming down with an elbow drop! Tamara Rivers rolls back, Daria up and Tamara with a jumping forearm to back Donner into a corner again! Daria hops herself onto the turnbuckle, locks Tamara's head and Night Shade! Daria going for the Victory Roll Pin, Tamara reverses it, Daria reverses it again, they both break and now trading fists back and forth. Tamara ducks Daria's punch and Saito Slam by Tamara! Tamara going for the Spinebuster and Daria hits the Bell Clap! Taking it back a step and SUPERKICK! GERMAN SUPLEX! Tamara takes a ride on the Ferry!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Daria Donner wins by Pinfall with the Ferry!

 

 

Ash: And here is your winner and awarded three points, Delaware Daredevil Daria Donner!

 

Bianca: Donner and Rivers, two of our most solid competitors when they choose to fight, and they put on a great match here. 

 

Colin: I don't know why people think you have to be bad to be interesting, I think I enjoy watching Daria more when she's fully invested in her skillset. 

 

Bianca: I agree. And her one of her rivals is about to enter the ring...well, two I suppose in some ways...but if she's smart she'll get out of dodge. 

 

Colin: Speaking on one of those rivals, we have some new merchandise and we want to take a quick moment to let you know that you can stop at the kiosk to get your Tragedeigh W2 shirts!

 

 

Colin: That's right Bianca, celebrate your hometown hero with our Hometown Hero and Marquee shirts, as well as this branded Tragedeigh poetry journal where you too can make fantastic poetry about beating your foes!

 

Ash stands in the ring.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and will count towards points in the round robin!

 

The Lights Go completely Out, then a Single Spotlight hits the Stage. Nightwish "Phantom of the Opera" cues up and Tragedeigh sweeps her arms up as if conducting the crescendo. The fans sing along. The spotlight follows her down the ramp as she keeps her arms open. She enters the ring and bows sweeping. The lights come on at this time.

 

 

Ash: First! From Edina, Minnesota, the Gen-Z Dramaturge, your hometown hero, KALPANA!

 

The Tron shows a helicopter landing. "Rich" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs plays as Jenkins the butler ushers in Zora Luthor, who holds the edges of her blazer Ted DiBiase style and saunters to the ring.

 

 

Jenkins bows curtly as Zora Luthor walks up the stairs and enters the ring.

 

Ash: And her opponent! Accompanied by Jenkins, from Wall Street, the Corporate Corruptor, ZORA LUTHOR.

 

Bianca: The girlies can't be here but Jenkins is back and technically, if you want to get super-nitpicky, he was not mentioned in the no-interfering.

 

Colin: I think that's probably her purpose in bringing him out.

 

The bell rings.

 

Bianca: And Tragedeigh sends Luthor off the ropes, coming back and Tragedeigh with a pirouette kick! A series of quick chops and spin kick, bicycle kick and step up enziguiri! Tragedeigh getting more in the combo space. She comes up off the ropes and handspring elbow drop! Luthor having a hard time without her girls by her side. Luthor rolls to her feet, Tragedeigh coming charging and Luthor trips her and locks in an STF!

 

Colin: Tragedeigh easily to the ropes, Zora refusing to let go but relents before Andra can start the count. Jenkins sitting at the side with a nice cup of tea, I don't trust him though. Tragedeigh springboards off the middle rope and hits a European Uppercut. Behind Luthor now, and a Cross Rhodes! Tragedeigh able to get the fans going, she's got a rally and running into a cannonball senton!

 

Bianca: Don't confuse youth for inexperience, Colin, Tragedeigh in the ring looks like she's been doing this for years. Tragedeigh tangles Luthor up in a surfboard stretch. Good form on the surfboard but Luthor bridging herself back, the hot yoga paying off for sure, able to get her arms around Tragedeigh's neck and bridging herself, what a headlock! Tragedeigh looks uncomfortable for sure! 

 

Colin: Tragedeigh starting to fade, wait can you hear the crowd?

 

Bianca: They're singing the Phantom of the Opera! Who'd have thought you would have a wrestling crowd singing a musical? Tragedeigh starting to perk up, grabs hold of the back of Luthor's onesie and they're rising! Oh lordy they're rising! 

 

Colin: Tragedeigh snapping the bridge back into a sort of Alabama Slam facebuster! The crowd is loving this! And Tragedeigh is loving the crowd! Tragedeigh running back, looks like we're going to get an Overture and OH TRAGEDEIGH GETS A FACE FULL OF HOT TEA! VERY HOT TEA! She's gonna need an Aloe Pack! Luthor coming charging and running bulldog! Going for the pin!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Zora Luthor wins by Pinfall with a Running Bulldog!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner and awarded three points, ZORA LUTHOR!

 

Zora Luthor mock bows while the crowd boos and Tragedeigh holds her face in pain. Zora and Jenkins walk off.

 

Colin: Tragedeigh is going to need a trip to the medical tent. While we get her some assistance, let's turn it over to Cristel backstage. Cristel?

 

INT. BACKSTAGE AREA - CONTINUOUS

 

Cristel Bassano stands with Gilbert Glass and Perry Payne backstage. Gil looks slightly more expressive than usual, but only slightly.

 

 

Cristel: Thank you! I'm backstage with the man who did what we thought would be impossible and took down RADE. Gil, what must be running through your mind coming off that historic victory.

 

Gilbert: Well, thank you ma'am, it was a tough fight for sure. I don't know that I'd call it historic but certainly pushed me to my limit and I'm as shocked as anyone that I did it.

 

Perry: My mans here is underselling this, so let me step in for for a second. See, y'all need to listen when we tell you we YEET FOOLS. We out there every day making historical moments and showing you that we're the real deal Jordan Peele so y'all other wrestlers gotta stop sleepin' on us and see what these amazing fans see and that we're here to wreck it. Now that Frankenstein-ass fool has been in this event twice, and he never been beaten in a Round Robin before? That right?

 

Cristel: That's right, he was undefeated last year until Steve Thunder beat him in the final.

 

Perry: See so this massive chunk o hunk did what y'all boy Steve couldn't even do, all love to you Steve I know we gonna be fed-mates soon, and he took down the big man in a tournament we weren't even supposed to be in. We came here lookin' to do one last tag match for our amazing fans who had our back in MAWL these past few years and light it up for y'all one more time. We didn't think we'd be fighting no 12 day schedule like this. Now I ain't complainin'. It's been a hell of a ride. No, what I'm sayin' is y'all weren't ready for Gilbert motherfucking Glass and he walked in and he made history. That's my boy and I'm proud o' you dawg. You out here provin' that blood may be thicker than water, but Glass is thicker than blood. Now when tonight's over we HITTIN' THE TOWN BOY! HELL YEAH! RIGHT AND TIGHT!

 

Perry and Gilbert do their double fist-bump and start to walk out. Cristel smiles.

 

Cristel: Back to you, Bianca and Colin.

 

Perry (OC): RADE GOT WRECKED BABY! WOO!

 

Cristel laughs a bit.

 

INT. ARENA SECTION - CONTINUOUS

 

Colin and Bianca are at their desk laughing a little bit too.

 

 

Bianca: That may be more expression than we've seen from Gilbert Glass in his entire time here. 

 

Colin: I can understand now wanting to get too in your head celebrating but show a little joy, man. 

 

Bianca: So we move on to the next portion of our men's W2. Ash?

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and will count towards points in the Round Robin!

 

A man in a Crash Test themed suit with crash test symbol face paint and crash helmet, and carrying a dummy as Primitives “Crash” plays. This is “Crash Course” Craig Convery who runs to the ring while shaking the dummy and then running headfirst into the ring apron, acting dazed, and then telling the dummy to wait for him before getting into the ring.

 

 

Ash: First, from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 211 pounds, Crash Course Craig Convery!

 

The mall turns into a full on dance floor with smoke machine and laser show as Deorro Feat. Elvis Crespo "Baillar" plays. The audience engages in the dancing and out comes Neon Juan busting various moves. He grinds, flexes his abs at various members of the audience and flirts with anyone of an adult age as he walks down the arena. He smells of intense cologne. He uses the turnbuckle pole as a dancer pole for a moment then shakes his chest on the top turnbuckle as he takes off his vest.

 

 

 

Ash: And his opponent, from La Santa, Mexico, weighing 235 pounds, El Divertido, Neon Juan Guyverno!

 

The bell rings.

 

Colin: And here we go! Crash charging forward with wild abandon and Juan easily dodges with a jump and Crash coming around the other way into a hurricanrana, and follow with a dropkick! Jumping side kick and off the rope to a cannonball senton! And a roll, keeps the momentum going, moonsault. Pins, but Crash up with the 1, and starting to throw headbutts at Juan.

 

Bianca: People say that Convery is not that smart but I think he uses his head more than a lot of his competitors.

 

Colin: Boo.

 

Bianca: Craig Convery with the Thesz Press, and throwing his head at Juan. Juan monkey flips, flip kick, headscissors driver! Running to the ropes, Asai Moonsault! Trying to go for the pin and Convery bites him! Juan startled and Convery with a quick lariat. 

 

Colin: He's going to need a tetanus shot from that. Maybe a rabies vaccine. 

 

Bianca: Convery slamming Juan's head into the mat repeatedly! Juan is surely going to have vertigo when he gets up! Convery with a stomp out and now off the ropes and frog splash! Going for the pin!

 

1!

 

Colin: Juan throws him off and momentum into another somersault senton, rolling himself up to his feet and without missing a beat cartwheel, NO DOUBLE CARTWHEEL, BACK ELBOW SMASH! Out to the Apron, getting up on the ropes and NO CONVERY SHAKES THE ROPES AND JUAN FALLS OUT! SUICIDE DIVE! Convery throwing hammer fists on Juan outside!

 

1!

 

Bianca: Juan spears Juan into the apron and Juan crumples down!

 

2!

 

Colin: Kick to the midsection, drives his elbows into Juan's back!

 

3!

 

Bianca: Juan taking off the glow bracelet, NO CRAIG GRABS IT FROM HIM!

 

4!

 

Bianca: And Craig is chewing on the bracelet as he stalks towards Juan, Juan wasn't expecting that and is trying to figure out what to do next and he backs himself back into the ring. Craig with a springboard body splash! Juan up, Craig coming back around and going for the Head On JUAN FLIPS OVER HIM AND CRAIG IS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE ROPE! Only one way this can go, Juan coming back around, there's the Juan Shot! Up on the ropes, gets the somersault going and KNEE-ON! Going for the pin!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Neon Juan wins by Pinfall with the Knee-On!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner and awarded three points, Neon Juan Guyverno!

 

Colin: And a good clean win for Neon, not for not trying to cheat. And the next match is-

 

Ann "Atomic" Lee comes on the Titantron laughing coldly. 

 

 

Ann: Oh Colin, Colin, Colin. The next match is canceled. You see, Leila Blake made a grievous error in saying that we can't attack people in the ring. The lesson here is sometimes specificity can bleed you in the ass. 

 

The camera pans out to see Rade having decimated the Manifestation of Defenestration.

 

 

Ann: The Blood Collector will come for you in the end. Destruction is inevitable. No one is unbreakable. And no celebration will be had, except perhaps by Sprinkl, who can enjoy his three points.

 

Ash: Due to forfeiture by Perry Payne, Sprinkl is awarded three points. The next contest is scheduled for one fall and will count towards points in the Round Robin. 

 

The lights go green and the projection of a giant eye illuminates the ramp. "Under My Umbrella" by Incubus plays as Iris Correa walks out in her scrubs and high-fives audience members.

 

 

Ash: First, from Denver, Colorado, the Eye-Con, Iris Correa!!

 

DNCE "Cake by the Ocean" plays as Sugar Cooki comes out fist pumping, flanked by Sprinkl and Syndy Sweet, as Cindy is now fashioning her name, who are also fist pumping and threatening to fight random audience members. 

 

 

Ash: And her opponent! Accompanied by Sinful Syndy Sweet and Donut Daddy Sprinkl, from the Jersey Shore, Santa's Sidepiece, SUGAR COOKI!

 

The bell rings.

 

Colin: And a lot of people are taking advantage of "Leila was too specific", as Sugarkoma has decided that the Nor'Easter's ringside ban doesn't apply to them. Iris is operating at a disadvantage but is trying to make the best of it. Iris grapples Sugar and hook suplex to the middle of the ring. Iris picks Sugar up and bodyslam! Headlock and Sugar's attempting to get herself towards the ropes, NO Iris hooks her arm back and has just turned this into a camel clutch!

 

Bianca: The ropes aren't going to be an option for Sugar, she's figuring out what to do in between screams, managing to fight to her knees and fall backwards, driving Iris into the mat! Iris lets the hold go, Sugar kips up and enziguiri! Iris rolls to her feet, takes a quick peek back and German suplex! Iris backing towards the center of the ring now, this is an odd strategy for someone who's usually a bit more propulsive. 

 

Colin: It looks like Iris is using the strategy of putting space between her and the ropes, Bianca. Which means she'll need to adjust her move set, but it's better than swimming close to the sharks outside. 

 

Bianca: That does appear to be the case, Colin, as Sugar attempts to Irish Whip and Iris pulls her back into an STO and another Camel Clutch. You gotta hand it to her, she appears to be adapting well to her confined space, with a more contained battle style. And Sugar battling to her feet, you sometimes forget the strength she has and she's trying to back them towards the ropes now, Iris catches her feet on the ropes and hits a Flipping Unprettier! Iris is saying I am staying in my area thank you! 

 

Colin: Sugar to her feet, running flip clothesline and drills Iris with it! They both pop up, and a jumping roundhouse by Sugar! Sugar isn't constraining herself to the center and running now back and here she comes with a...takes a moment to fist pump and then fist drop! Iris is going to have to get control back if she hopes to keep to her gameplan! Sugar feeling herself now and she wants to try this fist pump fist drop again...Iris catches the hand! Pulls her down and gets her legs around Sugar's neck, trying to get a submission going and Sugar gets her hand on Iris's back! She's getting her up...running powerbomb to outside! There goes Iris's plan! And the henches are swooping.

 

1!

 

Bianca: There's a weird face-off here...Sprinkl and Sweet know that if they lay the first hand on Iris, Sugar gets disqualified, so they're keeping hands off. But Iris knows if she lays the first hand on them, then she's initiated the fight and they can fight back.

 

2!

 

Bianca: So Sprinkl and Sweet can block Iris's path to the ring as long as they don't touch her, and Iris using force to break through means she's in a 2 on 1 battle.

 

3!

 

Kalpana pops up from the crowd and enter the ring.

 

 

Colin: Wait, what the hell is Kalpana doing here?? 

 

Bianca: Looks like she's throwing Sugar out of the ring and on top of the crowd outside! All bets are off, and what's more, this is going to restart the count! Kalpana digs into her hair and pulls out some knucks! She jumps down and just starts punching everyone! This is madness! 

 

1!

 

Colin: Kalpana picks Iris up and whangs her! Sweet reaching under the ring and pulls out a kendo stick! Drives it into Kalpana's back! Kal turns around and whangs Sweet with the bass knuckles! 

 

2!

 

Bianca: This is mayhem! SugarKoma and Kalpana working over Iris now! And Good God the Cavalry is here!

 

 

3!

 

Colin: Tekk and Dagger standing up to SugarKoma now! There's a fire in Tekk's eyes that hadn't been there before, I think Dagger really lit a fire in Taylor! And fists are flying! It's hard to tell one person from another in there!

 

4!

 

Bianca: Kalpana unloading on Iris, giving Sugar an opening and oh come on who the hell is this?

 

 

Colin: I don't know but she and Johnny exchange nods, I think we just met our third! And she pulls Sugar off the apron into an Electric Chair Suplex! I think her head may have hit the barricade!

 

5!

 

Bianca: Oh, this new person is turning to Kalpana and drops her with a spear! Both Sugar and Iris struggling to get to their feet! 

 

6!

 

Colin: Taylor getting into Sweet's face! These two are having it out! Sweet with the low blow and DDT onto the apron! She walks over to Iris and throws her over the barricade into the audience!

 

7!

 

Bianca: Taylor up and trying to get Sweet's attention but she's not listening as she drags Iris by the hair and whips her into a section of chairs! Taylor picks Sugar Cooki up into a fireman's carry and walking her over to the barricade! Holy hell! Samoan Drop into the crowd!

 

8!

 

Colin: The crowd moves out of the way and Taylor Tekk with a dominator on Sugar Cooki into the chairs! At least he's nice enough to pick the chairs up and apologize to the people sitting there. 

 

9!

 

Bianca: It's unlikely that Sugar's going to make it back in time, but I'm beginning to think that Sweet may not make it to her match either! 

 

Colin: Does that mean Kalpana will get the win?

 

Bianca: Unlikely...this whole time we've been attending to our fighters in this match, this new person has been wailing on Kalpana.

 

10!

 

The match goes to a double count-out.

 

Ash: The match has been declared a double count-out, and both Sugar Cooki and Iris Correa will be awarded one point for draw! (Holding her ear for a few seconds) It has been further declared that due to their parts in the double count-out, the match of Kalpana and Syndy Sweet has been determined a double disqualification and both parties will be awarded one point for draw. 

 

Bianca: Wow. 

 

Colin: This has been a roller coaster for sure. I guess we'll just...move to the last men's matches for today.

 

Ash is in the ring.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and will count towards points in the Round Robin!

 

Habitually Henry "Capybara" plays as Capybara pops up and down in the audience before flipping into the ring. 

 

 

Ash: First! From Bang Phra, Thailand, weighing 201 pounds, CAPYBARA! And his opponent-

 

Ash is interrupted as trumpets blare and a red carpet comes down. The minstrel enters first, followed by flower bearers, and begins to sing to the tune of a madrigal and play his lute. As he does so, Landon Gentry walks in behind him, in full Redcoat Regalia.

 

 

Minstrel: O Come, O Come, Tell ye a Tale, of a Champion in the making/ the pain he will bring to the riff-raff in ring/ the win is his for the taking/ if you stand in his way the tax you will pay by way of pain beyond your worst fears/ So lay down for pin and give him the wind or you will leave here in tears. 

 

Ash: From Scunthorpe England, Landon Gentry.

 

The Minstrel continues to strum his lute to the same tune. The flower bearers approach the ring and use their hands to create a stepstool on which Landon steps and enters the ring. He waves in the flower bearers who take off his robe to reveal a bare chest. He puts his fists up as if to engage in fisticuffs and donnybrooks. The bell rings.

 

Colin: Capybara throws Landon off the ropes and cross body block! Headlock by Capybara and he jumps on Landon's back. Landon trying to get to rope and trying to swat Capybara off him. Capybara holding on tight and trying to get his arms wrapped around Landon, Landon takes the opportunity to turn it into an Oklahoma Slam! Or I guess a Cockney Slam he would call it? That about the equivalent?

 

Bianca: I know a few Cockney folk who would knock you out for saying that.

 

Colin: They'd be proving my point. Landon trying for a Crossface now, has him locked in but Capybara gets his knees planted and kneeling back suplex! Off the ropes as Landon trying to get up, Hidden Blade! Cap going for the pin-

 

1!

 

Bianca: Landon with the shoulder up, they get to their feet and Cap with a solid tilt-a-whirl powerslam! Capybara jumping a bit to get himself hyped and off the ropes, running diving headbutt and Landon gets up, Capybara takes a face full of mat! Landon walking over Cap, wingtips in Cap's back. We haven't talked about this much when it comes to Gentry but wrestling in those must not be comfortable.

 

Colin: You get the sense that Gentry is used to discomfort, that comfort is unfashionable and uncouth. And Capybara headbutts the back of Landon's angle, Landon stumbles! Angle lock by Capybara! And Jolly the Minstrel offers his hands to Landon, to get him to the ropes! Success, it's a rope break called and Cap lets loose, a braver wrestler than Gentry would try for the headscissors now, but his feet plant on the mat instead. Capybara runs back, Landon...wait Jolly hands Landon the cane, don't do it Cap it's a trap, oh Landon just leaning on his cane to get his balance, Cap with the flying crossbody and Landon moves! Cap takes a face full of cane!

 

Bianca: Andra arguing with Landon, Landon arguing with Andra that he was just catching his breath and Capybara crashed into it, that he didn't hit him with it, Landon has full attention of Andra and JOLLY WITH THE LUTE! Landon begs off and you can see him nodding. Seems he understands what she was saying and he goes for the cover!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Landon Gentry wins by Pinfall with the Lute Smash!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner and awarded three points, LANDON GENTRY!

 

Colin: We've really taken a serious dive down from the high of Rade's defeat. But at least the next match promises to get us back on track, I've been waiting for this one all night.

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and will count towards points in the Round Robin!

 

The lights go out, and we hear the yell of "SCHMETTERLIIIIIIING" and the crowd goes nuts as Schmetterling walks out to Rammstein "Mein Herz Brennt" with a mini flamethrower that he shoots in the sky whenever "BRENNT" is yelled.

 

 

Ash: First, from Mellrichstadt, Germany, weighing in at 219 pounds, the MAWL Champion, SCHMETTERLIIIIIIING!

 

A cheerful man engages the crowd in a slow "wave your hands in the air" to the tune of Trik Turner "Friends and Family" as he walks to the ring. This is Greg Arias.

 

 

Ash: And his opponent, from Boise, Idaho, weighing in at 301 pounds, Good Dude Greg Arias!

 

A handshake and then the bell rings!

 

Colin: A good show of sportsmanship to start this match. A lock-up and Schmetterling overpowers Arias, suplex. Arias springs back up to his feet with a forearm shot. Arias with the Irish whip, no Schmetterling reverses it and sends Arias off the ropes, brings him back into a gutbuster! A quick roll off Schmetterling's knee by Arias and throwing some body hooks, powerslam! Schmetterling takes the landing and bounces back like a basketball, springing into a lariat! And keeps the momentum going with a roll and standing dropkick. Jumping roundhouse with the left leg, into a European Uppercut with the right. Schmetterling getting a rhythm, axe kick! Arias taking the bumps like a champ, from the champ.

 

Bianca: Neither of these men stay on the ground very long, getting a pin in is going to be tough to say the least. Arias with a shoulder tackle now, Schmetterling rung a little bit but still able to make it to his feet. Schmetterling with a lariat and ARIAS DUCKS IT AND REVERSE DDT. Arias picks Schmetterling up and a Deadlift Running Powerslam! Giving the Germanator a bit of Britain! And Schmetterling with a takedown! Mounted punches, Arias trying to weave but still catching those hands. Arias with the monkey flip and to his feet! 

 

Colin: Schmetterling with a charging spear and Arias catches him by the head, we're going for a spin! And Schmetterling goes flying! Now we're seeing some rust in the metal butterfly. Schmetterling trying to catch his breath in the corner, Arias coming charging and Schmetterling gets him into a tornado DDT! Schmetterling going for the pin.

 

1!

 

Bianca: And Arias gets the shoulder up. Schmetterling pulls him up into a hurricanrana. Going for the pin but Schmetterling able to roll him back with enough velocity to get a sort of dominator! Picking Schmetterling up into a Canadian Backbreaker! That looks like it hurts! Schmetterling falls down but tries for the Victory Roll!

 

1!

 

Colin: Arias up again and Arias now bringing Schmetterling up into an Accordion Rack! Schmetterling is definitely struggling here. Will he tap? 

 

Bianca: Schmetterling trying to get his arms to go where he wants them to, gets an arm under Arias's chin! Kicking at Arias's arms a little bit, AND A SPINNING CUTTER! SCHMETTERLIIIIING! The man doesn't want to go down! 

 

Colin: Schmetterling with a jumping elbow drop to punctuate. And he's calling for it, going over to hook in the Butterfly Suplex and OH NO ARIAS WITH THE REVERSAL! DUDEBUSTER! THAT! JUST! HAPPENED!

 

Bianca: Arias to the top, HILARIAS ELBOW DROP! Going for the cover!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Greg Arias wins by Pinfall with the HilArias Elbow Drop!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner and awarded three points, Good Dude Greg Arias!!

 

Bianca: What a Statement Win by Arias! And Arias and Schmetterling are hugging it out, Schmetterling raises Arias's arm! Beautiful. Truly Beautiful. 

 

Colin: On the other end of the beauty spectrum, we're being told now that Syndy and Taylor have been spotted.

 

INT. NICKELODEON UNIVERSE - CONTINUOUS

 

Syndy and Taylor are deep in the middle of a brawl.

 

 

Colin: And what a waste of a slushee as Taylor throws it right in the face of Sweet! 

 

Bianca: She was already sweet as it was.

 

Colin: The two are throwing fists and suplex by Sweet driving Taylor onto the brightly colored mat! She looks around and starts to walk off, Taylor gives chase and they're at Moose Mountain! And Sweet with the putt putt right into Taylor's midsection! She's choking Tekk out with the club, oh is it necessary to laugh in his face like that? 

 

Bianca: And he looks like he's struggling but he hits her with a Michinoku Driver, handful of golf balls and using them for a loaded punch! What brightly colored mayhem! Where was this side of Tekk before?

 

Colin: And Sweet spears him into the mountain! It doesn't matter what it's made of, a bumpy texture like that is going to send painwaves through your spine! Using the railing and fake rocks as a turnbuckle and Sweet with a diving axe handle on Tekk! 

 

Bianca: Colin, the Mini Golf is on the third floor of the Universe, that's three stories down, and OHMYGOD SYNDY SWEET WITH SWEET RELEASE OVER THE ROCKS! Taylor Tekk is taking a three story fall!! Right into the top of a kiosk! Oh dear God! 

 

Colin: Tekk I think feels like he's done for the day, and I am inclined to agree. Sweet has truly gone sour. Tragedeigh called it. 

 

Bianca: Tekk clearly in pain but able to walk, we've lost sight of Sweet. Tekk catching his breath as he walks away and hey Colin doesn't the zipline cross around there?

 

Colin: It does why do you OH GOD SWEET WITH A ZIPCORD FRONT DROPKICK! Unlatches herself into a coffin drop! Sweet isn't letting Tekk get away! Shouldn't they at least stop the rides while this is happening! What a safety hazard BODYSLAM ONTO THE BACK AT THE BARNYARD TRACK GET UP TAYLOR THAT TRAIN'S A COMIN! Taylor gets up and Judo Flips Sweet over the train! The faces on the riders right now, I don't think they expected someone to fly over their train. He's trying to walk away now, Sweet with a lariat and knocks him down! Tekk is having a tough time getting up.

 

Bianca: Give the guy a break, he fell three stories. Sweet whips Tekk into the pineapple! Positions Tekk's head in the window and going inside...AXE KICK! And there she'll leave him....wait she's coming back with...SLIME HOSE! SHE IS SLIME HOSING TEKK! One last bop in the head with the hose and NOW she's leaving. Tekk is in a hell of a state.

 

INT. ARENA AREA OF MALL - CONTINUOUS

 

Bianca and Colin sit back in the arena flabbergasted.

 

 

Colin: And we're getting word that Taylor Tekk is being taken out in a gurney. I guess it's not a body bag. You think the Mall will have us back next year?

 

Bianca: They knew what they were signing up for. 

 

Colin: Well, we have two more matches today. Let's get through them. Ash?

 

Ash and Andra Jones stand in the middle of the ring.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and will count towards points in the Round Robin!

 

We hear the sweeping entrance of a news broadcast as a voice says "Now here's Kira Dain with the weather" as Kira Dain enters onto the stage.

 

 

The voice keeps its newscaster voice as the music abruptly cuts and says "And Pain." At this point Kira takes off her blazer to reveal her wrestling top to cheers from the crowd as fireworks go off on the ramp. The music shifts to Nita Strauss feat. Dorothy "Victorious" and she pumps her arms with the crowd as she walks down the ring. She gets in the ring and rips off the skirt to reveal her wrestling trunks.

 

Ash: First! From Sheridan, Wyoming, with the Weather and Pain, it's KIRA DAIN!

 

The lights flash green and yellow, as the guitar riff of The Go! Team "Junior Kickstart" begins. Once the brass hits HAZEL CLARKE runs out to loud cheers. She does a jumping split in mid air as yellow and green fireworks go off. She takes off towards the ring at full speed and then uses the momentum to do the same jumping split over the apron and ropes into the ring, culminating in a split and pointing upwards.

 

Ash: And her opponent! From Port Maria, Jamaica, the Port Maria Platypus, HAZEL CLAAAAAAAAARKE!

 

The bell rings.

 

Colin: And here we go! Hazel takes a run at Kira and spinning heel kick! Kira up quickly and a single leg dropkick by Hazel! Hazel catches Dain before she falls and spins her with a hurricanrana. Dain has had a bit of a rough go these past few days, let's see if she can catch a break. 

 

Bianca: Speaking of rough, what a landing there. Oof. Dain looking a little bruised from that fall but gets herself up. Hazel going for a headstand headscissors - DAIN CATCHES HER INTO AN ELEVATED CRAB! Hazel struggling to get to her feet but able to use her feet to flip Dain over. Dain coming off the ropes purely from momentum and European Uppercut to Clarke. Clarke stumbling back a bit, Dain coming in with Muay Thai kicks. High kick-no! Clarke ducks and sweeps the leg! Dain down and corkscrew splash by Clarke! 

 

1!

 

Colin: And Dain gets the shoulders up. Dain and Clarke tie-up, Clarke with a spinning neckbreaker and off the ropes, Senton drop! Dain rolls to the ropes and pulls herself up, gets back into the fight, ducks a roundhouse and a boxing combo tumbles Clarke back! Whipping Clarke to the ropes, Clarke returns and a hip toss into an armbar. Clarke with the flip reversal and arm wringer flip to Dain! Clarke off the ropes and mushroom stomp! Clarke trying for a springboard and Dain shakes the ropes! Clarke loses balance and faceplants!

 

Bianca: Smart play by Dain. And Dain takes the opportunity to get in the LeBell Lock. Clarke is struggling, reaching for the ropes and Dain locks it in tighter! Dain squeezing but Clarke with punches to the inside of Dain's arm and breaks free. And now a series of Capoeira kicks by Clarke! The motion is so fluid.

 

Colin: Dain is really finding herself backed up by this barrage and a Spinaroony kick by Clarke!! Difficult to land but impactful when you do. Like getting caught in a ceiling fan. Clarke continuing to impress here and off the ropes, no arm moonsault! Before Andra can count a series of punches by Dain to have Clarke disembark. Dain trying for the crossface and it's in, but Clarke gets her foot on the ropes fairly quickly. Frustration evident in Dain as she lets go. Clarke with the rolling thunder facebuster! Dain in pain! Clarke picks her up and whips her into the ropes, trips her into 619 position, here she comes around 619 and will she get the second part of the Duck Bill NO KIRA CATCHES HER! ROTATING TO THE HIGH CROSS AND IT'S A DAINBUSTER! Kira goes for the pin!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Kira Dain wins by Pinfall with the Dainbuster!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner and awarded three points, Kira Dain!

 

Bianca: Both of them needed this win, but Kira got it.

 

Colin: Broadway Bloom set Clarke up with a deficit that may be too hard to overcome at this point but she's gonna try. And...oh no. Here these three come.

 

Imogen, Zora, and Morgan Maverick walk out as Halestorm "Dirty Work" plays. Zora Luthor has the mic.

 

 

Zora: Now you all know how this goes. The following contest is points blah blah whatever. Your two amazing competitors are from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the Philly Phirebrand, the Regal Eagle, MORGAN MAVERICK! And her opponent, from 5th Ave, New York, the Refleeeection of Perfeeeeection, IMOGEN! Now ring the damn bell. 

 

The bell rings. Morgan and Imogen for a few seconds make it look like they're really going to fight, then wag their fingers at the audience. They do this little trick two more times, then Imogen grabs the microphone.

 

Imogen: In honor of your Philadelphia Eagles making the NFC Championship which, oh yeah, the Vikings weren't even close, we're going to do something a little special for you Morgan. Everyone rise and put your greasy hands on your failing hearts.

 

Zora and Imogen leave the ring and Morgan's theme song Go Go Gadjet "No One Likes Us/Fly Eagles Fly" plays as the fans boo.

 

Colin: Of course they're going to make a mockery of this whole thing. Of the event. Of the fans. Everything.

 

1!

2!

3!

4!

5!

6!

7!

8!

9!

10!

 

Morgan Maverick wins by Countout.

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner and awarded three points, Morgan Maverick.

 

Colin: Un...I can't even say unbelievable. Completely believable. Ridiculous but believable. What was set to be an iconic, historic day in W2 history gets a smudge on the page because of the continued antics of Nor'Easter. At least this is the last pairing of these three "against" each other, so they will have to fight their last three days. Until then, I'm Colin McRae.

 

Bianca: And I'm Bianca Diaz. Thanks for tuning in. See you next time.

 

FADE TO BLACK.